What is the best / most outrageous excuse for poor climbing performance you have heard. Come on guys we are all full of them most of the time. Lets hear some peaches....

My dog ate my chalk.

thats the excuss you use when you sniffed your chalk...

Newton should have been around today... gravity seems to be pulling harder than ever...

I haven't climbed in months........ really!

You've all been forewarned now, I'll soon be using this one laaank!

My belayer smokes..............................(Huh?).....................................

Everytime I reach a crux a cloud of marijuana wafts past and I forget what Im supposed to be doing!!

As long as you remember to breath.......... in .................. deeply............. you'll be okay!!

float through that crux!

I like to fake a little accident on the walk-in.
Pretend to twist my ankle or strain a finger putting on my pack.
This way everyone sees the injury happen and the excuse is already half made.
Whats even better is when I crank well that day with my \"injury\"

\" jeewizz, i've been cranking so hard lately i can hardly lift my handbag\"

Not far off that one. When I did my pilgrmage to Yosemite some Canadian climbers left some gear in the boot of their truck. Along comes a bear in the night and ate 2 pairs of climbing shoes, 5kg of oats, and a bag of chalk. Must have ended up with the worst case of spyt-kak that has ever befallen a bear...

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\"When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you\". - Oom Nietzsche