Yellow-Point — A climb where you were so scared you almost pee'd
your pants.

Brown-Point — similar to Yellow-Point except for more severe
consequences.

Red-Point — a blood stain left by a cratered climber.

Crater (to) /v./ To fall and hit the ground

Different kinds of climbers: Novice — Someone (often dead) who
should be kept off the mountains at all costs. Experienced climber —
Someone whose death was unavoidable. Alpine Club Member — Someone
who never dies but slowly fades away.

Alps /n./ cries for assistance, most commonly heard in alpine areas
of Great Britain.

Artificial climbing: knack of appearing to climb by talking about
it. This technique is best employed far from actual climbing areas,
which tend to be hazardous. Small taverns and pizza parlors with an
impressionable clientele are excellent sites for artificial
climbing.

Blood /n./ substance commonly used to mark a climbing route.

Boulder /n./ place close to the ground to practice falling. When
climbers aren't climbing, they like to sharpen their skills by
bouldering on large rocks located in places frequented by
impressionable tourists. Because bouldering is done without
protection, the rule is never to climb higher than you'd like to
fall. That is why so many climbers stand around discussing boulder
problems instead of climbing them.

El Capitan /prop. n./ expedition leader in a spanish speaking
country.

Foot jam /n./ offensive accumulation between the toes, caused by
wearing the same socks for several days.

Gorp /interj./ mealtime sound made by a hungry alpinist.

Rurp /interj./ sound made by a climber after downing a hasty
lunch.

Horn /n./ malady brought on by being too long alone in the
mountains.

Ice screw /n./ drastic cure for a severe case of horn.

Layback /n./ what a climber looks forward to at the end of a
day.

Line of weakness: long involved explanation for not attempting a
route.

Matterhorn /n./ trumpetlike musical instrument favored by swiss
mountaineers.

Mountaineering /n./ slow walking uphill while not feeling very
well.

Offwidth crack /n./ remark made in a smartass manner.

Snow bridge /n./ card game played on a glacier. As in other alpine
endeavors, tricks are common, and there is always a dummy.

Terminal moraine /n./ the last glacier you'll ever climb.

Unzip (to) /v./ simple yet spectacular way to remove
protection.

Walking: uncommon means of mountain locomotion. See fall, glissade,
etc.

Webbing /n./ rope that has been stepped on so many times it is
flat.

Wilderness /n./ archaic word used to refer to the space that once
existed between urban areas and which is now used as a proving
ground for 4-wheel drive vehicles.

Wilderness travel /n./ art of avoiding snowmobiles, four wheel
drives and oil wells.

_________________
You have an opinion, so do I. When these differ, please don't confuse your opinion with the truth, nothing is absolute.

Pinch (in a) /n./ the financial state most climbers find themselves in.

Knee bar /n./ the local watering hole for \"verticaly challenged\" climbers.

Drop knee /v./ falling over after spending too much at the knee bar.

Quickdraw /v./ a method of settling disputes between two climbers, ten feet apart with cowboy music playing in the background.

Nordwand /n./ apparatus used for magic tricks in the northern hemisphere.

Cam /n./ used by boere to keep their hair tidy. usually stored in back pocket or socks.

Autoblock /n./ - place where okes park their cars below the crag
Base camp /n./ - when your climbing buddies swear a lot while you climb
Beta /adj./ - how you feel after a beer
Bolt /v./ - to climb quickly
Bomber /n./ - climber with indigestion
Boulder /n./ - a climber who shows more bravery
Campus /n./ - where you go to climbing courses
Crank /n./ - climber who talks about the good old days
Dyno /n./ - apparatus to determine how hard you climb
Edging /n./ - when you climb slowly
Fall /n./ - a pleasant time to climb
Figure eight /v./ - to work out a hard move
Flake /v./ - to give up
Flash /n./ - what can happen if you wear tights
Solo /n./ – to sing by yourself (preferably kum bhai ya)
Hex /v./ - when you curse you buddy for making a route that you cant
Nuts /v./ - mental reaction to not making a route resulting in hexing
Pitch /v./ - when your belayer arrives like he said he would
Protection /n./ - used in connection with belay device
Topo /n./ - the best climber you now

Hahahahaha!!!!!

I love the afrikaans ones!!

classic!!