Truth in the humour!?

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Climb ZA - Administrator

Whoever took my copy of MS Office is in big trouble. You have my Word.

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Climb ZA - Administrator

Someone's in deep sheet or are you trying to prove a point Justin?

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Strangers have the best candy!

Sometimes I fill up my blow-up doll with helium so it plays hard to get

The local movie theatre was robbed of R524 last night. The thieves took a bag of popcorn and a large coke.

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Climb ZA - Administrator

There are two types of people in the world:
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

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Climb ZA - Administrator

Why do mathematicians always confuse Halloween and Christmas?
Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec

Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.

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Climb ZA - Administrator

Why did Megan fall off the swing?

She had no arms.


Knock Knock

Who's there?

Certainly not Megan.

(Sorry, slow day at the office)

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Happy climbing
Nic

For almost a year I thought I was a man trapped inside a woman's body... Then I was born.

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Climb ZA - Administrator

When I was young I was scared of the dark.
Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights.

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Climb ZA - Administrator

What do you call a German dolphin?

Adolphin..

If I saw an amputee being hanged would I instinctively shout out letters?

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Climb ZA - Administrator

When people stutter I drop a beat for them, because I'm hoping they're about to freestyle.

I shower with a suicide note in case I slip and die, at least I can make it look intentional instead of stupid.

I put suicide notes next to roadkill, so their animal families can have some closure.

When the doctor said I suffer from alcoholism I thought that's bullsh!t.
I really enjoy it.

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Climb ZA - Administrator

I had an idea for a movie plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris, but it turns out that idea was taken.

I had another idea for one where the same agent is kidnapped with his wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken two.

www.conjunctivituscure.com

That's a site for sore eyes.

Do people who stutter scratch their cd's on purpose so they can sing along?

Dear Santa, this Christmas I don't want another sweater...

I'd much rather prefer a moaner or a screamer

I would love to have kids one day. Maybe two days, but that's it.

I love kids, especially in stews and soup.

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Strangers have the best candy!

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Climb ZA - Administrator

I put that one up on facebook some time back - got 1 like from a computer science friend and a "huh" comment from a relative. There are some really good maths jokes out there...

Some of my favourites (not that maths, computer and accounting jokes are the same thing, but any way):

Why is the integral of 1/cabin d cabin a mathematician's ideal holiday?
Because it equals log cabin + c

There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary, and those who don't

There are 3 types of accountants, those who can count and those who can't

An accountant is a person who provides a solution you don't understand to a problem that you didn't know you had and then bills you a fee you can't afford

An auditor is a person who shows up to the battle 3 months after its over and kills the survivors.

An actual quote by a client to me during my articles: You auditors - you want to have your cake and eat it, and then you bill me for the cost of the cake and the time spent eating it!

I could go on for hours...

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"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

Santa saw your Facebook page. You're getting clothes and a dictionary for Christmas.

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Climb ZA - Administrator

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"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

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Climb ZA - Administrator

Ultra Fast Laser-Based Explosive Scanner Accelerates Airport Security Checks

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Climb ZA - Administrator

This is excellent
"clim'bing"

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Climb ZA - Administrator

Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X. She's not coming back.
And don't ask Y.

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Climb ZA - Administrator

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Climb ZA - Administrator

I seriously cannot stop laughing at the taylor swift feat adam ondra, its brilliant!