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Ebert Nel on the first ascent of The Megalomaniac (8c)

Ebert Megalomaniac, Chosspile

Below is Ebert Nel on the first ascent of the Man-o-meter Project aptly dubbed “The Megalomaniac”.

Sorry about the excited screams, I was a little psyched watching him send!!

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Ebert Megalomaniac
“Flawless movements up to the crux, like I had been climbing it for a year. I pulled the crux. I dont recall celebrating, because the beta was changing again…. I slipped a few times. This wasn’t going as perfectly as I envisioned minutes earlier. Fml what was I doing. Sending? I got to the kneebar rest before the lead out. I had done this many times, but it was always super stressful and remained tricky even when rested. I tend to give up at the chains, and try again. Not today. I had thoughts of not pulling the chains, but all was soon forgotten as psych rose from the base below. I was blowing minds:) My mind was being blown”.



  1. Nee man, dit lyk glad nie so hard nie…
    GRAP NET! Heng, maar die boitjie is fiks! Whats that like 25-30m worth?

  2. It’s about 30m. Climbs 28 into 8A boulder into 30 route. Give or take… It’s hard, you can believe me on that! I can personally attest to that

  3. Looks like a proper Cape Town 28

  4. Paul, I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you’re looking for someone to open soft routes, I can tell you I don’t have time but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very short career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let this go now, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for your projects, I will find them and I will sandbag them.

    Ebert Nel

    • hahaha!! hillarious! *two thumbs up*

  5. And the comeback Award Goes to…… Ebert hahaha Paul”ie when you finaly get a comback from this the ohhh sh!t there are No comaback’s hahaha

  6. mmm…Yeah good one Ebert, haha…

  7. ok, ok, 29 tops ! Lets settle on that ! Deffo not harder than 29. Well done all the same.

  8. Paul, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one will know if we were good men, or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. But all that matters is that two stood against many. I know that battle pleases you paul, so grant me one request. GRANT ME REVENGE! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you! Your projects will be mine

  9. Flipp man, woohoo, I’m actually conversing with you now. We like best friends dude. ! I’m so pumped right now. PUMPED man ! Wait til i tell my goose tonight. I fricken love you dude ! So, so pumped right now….woohooo !

  10. Hi Ebert! Jis dude, you’re story totally inspired me to start training hard again! I had a good 9 months where I totally crushed my gym routine. I eventually had to buy a membership at virgin so that I could supplement my finger and core training. Unfortunately I cracked a rib on the crunch machine while busting a core session. When the doctor checked that out, realized I have rheumatoid arthritis and suggested that I take a break from training.

    But honestly man, after seeing this, I’m picking up the slack and going for a campus sesh! PSYCHED!!!

  11. FutureCrusher, I’m with you dude ! Just got back from the VA…Not one to pay myself compliments, but yussie I’m looking MASSIVE ! If you wanna climb 29 you cannot, and i mean cannot climb with injuries. Be cautious Charna !
    While you are injured Take some time off, watch lank video footage of the greats…I’m talking Sharma, Ondra, Honnold & Nel….
    Listen to me bra…..and see what happens !

  12. Hehehe, lekker banter, very faanie, very whittie.
    I do however throw the challenge out there: you Gauteng okes can mos crimp like frikkin mad, so in quite opposite style to what Ebert just sent, come and try Paar Rock’s premium sandbag: Parklife, graded 27 – ha ha ha. Would love to hear what you strong okes say.
    Aweeee ma se kind.

  13. Ebert, I think the real problem you are facing is not the grade or style of the routes that you open, but that it is on a uninspiring pile of crap called the Chosspile. You rant on about how you want to put SA sport climbing on the map and jump up and down desperately for attention, but you are faced with a situation where you will struggle to convince any strong and acclaimed climber to ever get inspired enough to repeat your routes and confirm the grades.

    You are in need of a change in strategy here. Give it up at the Shitpile, pack up and go spend a few months Spain and see how much of a name you can make for yourself as a South African sport climber amongst the world’s best. Alternatively, divert your FA energy to more inspiring rock and locations in SA, it might just work for you.

  14. first of all… Chosspile is amazing. I’ve brought overseas climbers to Choss and they loved it, kinda like Rifle apart from being quartzite instead of limestone. Secondly, Ebert has been the primary developer of the Narrow and that has some amazing lines. He is kinda like a diamond in the rough, he comes across like an ass because that’s the image he projects. In person, he’s a nice guy (and this is coming from me, who used to hate him — not a secret).

    You should go solo something beyond your limit, make sure the first few pitches are easy enough… PLEASE

    • “You should go solo something beyond your limit, make sure the first few pitches are easy enough… PLEASE”.

      Hard to believe I just read that …. one climber wishing another a climbing death … this debate has been nasty at times but this really pushes the envelope.

      There’s a whole community of people out there who share a camaraderie unlike that found in just about any other sport. Or do they?

    • Careful Brian. Local climbers have their panties on a hair trigger. Some people have a huge beef with Ebert. I don’t personally know the guy, but I dig his spirit. He says what he wants, and that’s ok.

    • Not Cool Brian…….That’s just being a ”little bitch” with your last comment. Not a great example !

      • I agree, it was a little immature. I could have thought it through a bit better. Apologies on that one

        • Thank you Brian. You are great example to the younger guys, keep it flowing.

  15. I’m with Brian..

  16. Brian, I think you may have convinced yourself and perhaps a few other randoms…. but that is as far as it goes. sorry.

  17. I am with Jean on this one.

    Brian, Chossies is an okay crag, yes it hosts some hard rock climbs and perhaps it might even remind some people of Rifle, however, when one consider the package it offers, lets say for a prospective climbing tourist, things take a catastrophic nose-dive. Here we are concerned with attributes like total number of routes, setting, security, alternative activities, proximity to other climbing and importantly the opportunity costs associated with choosing said “package deal” over other alternatives e.g. Rocklands (sic. Western Cape) or Boven. I am by no means implying that no visiting climbers will/have/want to climb at Chossies, but question the logic that establishing one or two 9a’s at this venue, for argument’s sake, will result in any material changes in the South African climbing scene, including the distribution of climbing tourism.

    As far as your assessment of Ebert, well I for one am not convinced, but pray you are correct. Perhaps all Ebert needs is some “polishing” in a remote exploration camp, logging core and swatting mozzies for a year or two…

  18. I was thinking about it last night and realized, the good climbing starts at 25. I think you have to be capable of climbing the good routes to truly appreciate Choss… There are some phenomenal lines, but you have to be climbing around or above 30 to really get the full value from the crag.

    Gollum, Halfling, Bully, Fossil Fuel, Anduril, Frak It, Shadowfax, Cock or Bollock, Kleptomaniac, Violent Streak, Megalogmaniac. All of these are actually good lines and would have cues for them if they were at a popular destination. There are already cues on some of these…

    Jean, sorry if you’re not strong enough to be able to enjoy them, because I do agree, a lot of the easier lines at Choss are just that… And considering how much fun Joe had Choss, I think that he could be a pretty good judge of the quality of the climbing. He grinning from ear to ear when he climbed Fossil and opened Anduril.

  19. Brain,

    Your comment above is thwarted by circular reasoning. It does not all address the issues, questions and/or arguments posed/raised earlier by myself and/or Jean.

    Also, the ad hominem insinuation(exlplicit?) that Jean is not “strong enough” to enjoy the best Chossies has to offer is weak. Remember, the objection raised by Jean was that Chossies is pretty average, when considered in a global context (important consideration for climbing tourists(m)), and not your penchant for said crag, for you are surely not Chossies, nor is Chossies Brain? So, calm down big boy, you are okay, okay?

    Lastly, your mentioning Joe(y) Kinder and his positive reaction to climbing at Chossies is, unfortunately, self-defeating for your “argument” and reinforces what Jean highlighted earlier. So a visiting strong/famous/sponsored overseas climber visited and climbed at Chossies in 2011 and even managed an FA, according to all accounts (yours) he enjoyed the experience. However, Chossies is still Chossies, not overrun by visiting climbers, but why not? This brings us back to the central issue as raised by Jean, Chossies is a “’s nice” crag, reiterating – in a global context, and one or two really hard (9a?) routes will not change this.

    • No worries Brain, no offence taken. I took it where it came from…. a man with questionable sexuality that enjoys posting selfies of his bare chest flexing in a mirror. On a climbing website. How beastly.

      • I see the same names popping up all over the place trying to attacking Ebert and Brian now too. Seriously, man up guys, phone up the okes you’re offended with and talk it out in person. It’s getting old hiding behind the forums breaking people down. Does integrity and respect mean nothing anymore. Sigh…

  20. Whoa!! Well done Ebert!

  21. Brain , funny you mention Joe and his apparent positive reaction to Choss. He told me that Umgeni was by far the best crag he climbed at in SA, followed by The Wave Cave and Boven. Didn’t mention Choss at all.

    He didn’t even log the FA of Anduril on 8a, but he did log the repeats of Barricade (comment: 8a or + is more like it, but the best line on the wall… simply the SHEEEIT!) and The Beast (comment: REALLY nice line… shoulda copped those no hands in that chimney… HA! LOVED it to the end.)

  22. The divide between Gauteng climbers and Western Cape is palpable right now. Funny that saying “you can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk” implies the superiority of actions over words, but a man without his word is nothing.

    I’m not sure if its sponsors encouraging their athletes into the limelight, or simply a call for praise of the self, but the difference between Ebert and Brian in person vs what was read above is sad to witness. The community knows Brian to be a great guy who puts things across in a very straight talking way (which can be misread as big headed), and is tolerated for that because he is well respected and understood. Ebert spoke his mouth off before he was walking that talk, and so weakened his word from the beginning- he’s fine company in a campsite.

    Wouldn’t it be great if they were to learn from Clinton more: few unnecessary words spoken, and those said are humble and honest. For me Clinton is the best climber this country has produced- if ever there was someone in a position to comment its him, but instead he avoids commentary and forums, and lets plebs like us do the talking. What a wise man!

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