JOTD

How did that route get that name? Jokes. Funny bits. Crag humour.
Chris F
Posts: 822
Joined: Fri Sep 22, 2006 1:45 pm
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland

Re: JOTD

Post by Chris F »

16 sodium atoms walk into a pub.

Followed by Batman.
clickbutt
Posts: 34
Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2011 5:08 pm
Real Name: Louis Louw

Re: JOTD

Post by clickbutt »

The actual number of atoms is controversial though: http://xkcd.com/851/
Ghaznavid
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 6:37 pm
Real Name: Ghaznavid

Re: JOTD

Post by Ghaznavid »

aPyG83g_460s_v1.jpg
aPyG83g_460s_v1.jpg (32.16 KiB) Viewed 15860 times
"There is something fundamentally wrong in treating the Earth as if it were a business in liquidation." Herman E Daly
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

I would like to thank my legs for supporting me,my arms for being by my side and lastly my fingers because I can always count on them.

What's another word for Thesaurus?

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control, I thought to myself. "This changes everything!"

I went to listen to the Bermuda philharmonic, half way through the guy on the triangle disappeared.

I found a Justin Bieber concert ticket nailed to a tree, so I took it.
You never know when you might need a nail....

Askhole:a person who constantly asks your advice, but does the complete opposite.

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.
Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
Ghaznavid
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 6:37 pm
Real Name: Ghaznavid

Re: JOTD

Post by Ghaznavid »

"My girlfriend is like the square root of -100"
"I don't follow"
"She is a perfect 10, but unfortunately she is also imaginary"
"There is something fundamentally wrong in treating the Earth as if it were a business in liquidation." Herman E Daly
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

I wish I hadn't been so critical on the Lego forum earlier. They've blocked me.
Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

Escape From Table Mountain - Cape Town
Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
Ghaznavid
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 6:37 pm
Real Name: Ghaznavid

Re: JOTD

Post by Ghaznavid »

A store has just opened in New York City that offered free husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

“You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors to choose from. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the store to find a husband. On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely Good Looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the 4th floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims. “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the Sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 71,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that you are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a Wife Store just across the street.

The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and are great cooks.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited....
"There is something fundamentally wrong in treating the Earth as if it were a business in liquidation." Herman E Daly
Ghaznavid
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 6:37 pm
Real Name: Ghaznavid

Re: JOTD

Post by Ghaznavid »

abqOpEr_700b.jpg
abqOpEr_700b.jpg (47.55 KiB) Viewed 15165 times
"Excuse me sir, you are not allowed to invade our country without a TS713 form approved by the minister of homeland security"
"There is something fundamentally wrong in treating the Earth as if it were a business in liquidation." Herman E Daly
Ghaznavid
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 6:37 pm
Real Name: Ghaznavid

Re: JOTD

Post by Ghaznavid »

a5N2NXO_700b.jpg
a5N2NXO_700b.jpg (45.91 KiB) Viewed 14966 times
"There is something fundamentally wrong in treating the Earth as if it were a business in liquidation." Herman E Daly
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

Attachments
ostrich_Llama_funny.jpg
ostrich_Llama_funny.jpg (63.71 KiB) Viewed 14887 times
Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

Was late to my first Fight Club so missed the intro. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I'd highly recommend Fight Club.

50% of people who win the lottery return to work the next day.... to tell their boss to F@#$ off.

I think the guy who invented Tipp-Ex made a mistake
Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

For sale: Homeless man...
Still in the box.

Was late to my first Fight Club so missed the intro. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I'd highly recommend Fight Club.
Attachments
wierd_family_member.jpg
wierd_family_member.jpg (33.01 KiB) Viewed 14554 times
Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

Two goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "How the heck do you drive this?"

One tectonic plate bumped into another and said....."Sorry, my fault."

I went to the art museum the other day, I really enjoyed it and took lots of pictures. I need bail.

Waterboarding at Guantánamo Bay sounds super fun if you don't know what either of those things are.
Attachments
If you cant climb it, drink it
If you cant climb it, drink it
if_you_cant_climb_it_drink_it.jpg (35.79 KiB) Viewed 14372 times
Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

I wonder if Superman ever put his glasses on Lois Lane's dog and she was like, "I've never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"

Traffic Cop: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Me: "My love of riddles"?

Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
User avatar
Houdini
Posts: 31
Joined: Sun Jan 04, 2015 4:21 pm
Real Name: HannoB

Re: JOTD

Post by Houdini »

Bruce Wayne clearly wasn't a climber
Attachments
YUuJ0yi.jpg
YUuJ0yi.jpg (78.56 KiB) Viewed 14022 times
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

Nandos Diversity Add - that didn't make it to TV :)

Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

I never believed wearing orthopaedic shoes would help my posture, but now, I stand corrected.

The police want to interview me, which is strange, as I didn't even apply for a job there.

Decaffeinated coffee does wake you up.
You just have to spill it on your lap.

Is it strange how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how strange it is?
Attachments
mountain_climb_poop-bag.jpg
mountain_climb_poop-bag.jpg (62.08 KiB) Viewed 13677 times
Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
User avatar
Stefan Smeda
Posts: 75
Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2009 1:14 pm

Re: JOTD

Post by Stefan Smeda »

What's Chris Sharma's Favorite Volkswagon?
jETDM6R.jpg
jETDM6R.jpg (119.73 KiB) Viewed 13613 times
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

Greek Crisis / Recovery explained :)
Attachments
Greek Recovery explained
Greek Recovery explained
greece_crisis_recovery-explained.jpg (79.37 KiB) Viewed 13467 times
Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
Ghaznavid
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 6:37 pm
Real Name: Ghaznavid

Re: JOTD

Post by Ghaznavid »

@Justin: saw a similar one recently:

(excuse it being broken into 2, it was too large to upload):
Part 1.jpg
Part 1.jpg (121.81 KiB) Viewed 13467 times
Part 2.jpg
Part 2.jpg (118.31 KiB) Viewed 13467 times
"There is something fundamentally wrong in treating the Earth as if it were a business in liquidation." Herman E Daly
LCD
Posts: 15
Joined: Wed Dec 09, 2009 5:28 pm

Re: JOTD

Post by LCD »

It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.

Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.

The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.

The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna.

The publican slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit.

The hooker then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.

The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything.

At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.

No one produced anything.

No one earned anything.

However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that is how the bailout package works!
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

Red Bull and Vodka. Because I want to be wide awake for this mistake.

The scientific rule that describes the behaviour of shredded cabbage in mayonnaise is known as Coles Law

The site www. firstforwomen.co.za keeps crashing

Sometimes when I'm doing my taxes I'm like, maybe prison would be easier.
Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

Karl Stefanovic in shock after seeing...

Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
CapeTiger
Posts: 70
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:08 pm

Re: JOTD

Post by CapeTiger »

Report Bad Climbing
Attachments
report bad climbing.jpg
report bad climbing.jpg (87.16 KiB) Viewed 13141 times
User avatar
emile
Posts: 813
Joined: Mon Dec 10, 2007 7:41 am
Real Name: OneDog

Re: JOTD

Post by emile »

"Fragile Ego" (17) at Bronkies testing another victim. :wink:

User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

emile wrote:"Fragile Ego" (17) at Bronkies testing another victim. :wink: ]
At least he never used his knee's ;)

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife
ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

Door knocking is so last century...

Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
Ghaznavid
Posts: 432
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 6:37 pm
Real Name: Ghaznavid

Re: JOTD

Post by Ghaznavid »

This thread's been too quite for too long...
aEzmVQp_700b.jpg
aEzmVQp_700b.jpg (18.36 KiB) Viewed 12362 times
"There is something fundamentally wrong in treating the Earth as if it were a business in liquidation." Herman E Daly
User avatar
justin
Posts: 3888
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 8:31 am
Real Name: Justin Lawson
Location: Montagu/Cape Town
Contact:

Re: JOTD

Post by justin »

I'm always putting myself down.
Which is why I don't think I'll ever make it as a vet.

Cats only have one life.
You can prove it with a laser pointer and a motorway.

ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
Climb ZA - Administrator
justin@montaguclimbing.com
Post Reply